It doesn´t have to be Friday, the 13th

This day was so horrible from the start until the end. It started with the clothes moth. A lot of them! It´s been a while we get riff of the food moths and now these another have to come? What are they comming for? It dissapointed me a lot and I read some advices on the internet so I put lavender into the cupboard, cut lemon+ orange peel (they hate the smell) and tomorrow I will buy cloves and bay leaf. The thing is, because of our pet-rats, we are not suppose to put here some chemicals to kill those moths. It could hurt our cutie pies as well :(

Another unpleasing information came from John. Today he went to comment a football match. Except the usual job he has, he started doing this part-time job (let´s be honest, he does it for funn, not for money). It was suppose to be on weekends and as he said, not each of them but propably every second one. Allright, that could work out- he will do what he likes and also some weekends we can make some plan together. Naive me! Today (thurstday) he comment until late night hours and slept at the moment he came. Allright, he would take a rest and will get some together-time during the weekend. Naive me! Not only weekend, but also friday he´ll be gone for commenting a match! I can sit happily at home with my beloved moths and play with them. EXCITING!

Then the most horrible message came. It was about a car crush accident caused by my close friend. Her name is Hanka and she lives in Stosikovice, which is my grandparents village. She is 26 years old, married my cousin and they have small son. At first I noticed some people speaking about the tragedy on facebook but there was nothing specific so I called my mother to ask if she know something. She told me to read the news on the internet. It was everywhere, every News webpage shouted out the title "Young woman didn´t give the right of way to Ford and killed two people, three children seriously hurt". One of those children was her son.

I was shocked to hear that and I realized- not only two lifes were taken. My friend, 26 yo mother, beloved wife and a wonderful person goes to prison for this mistake. I´m not saying that she doesn´t deserve any punishment. What I´m saying is, that this mistake itself is a punishment, she has to live with. And that will never disappear.

It lead to me thinking about important things in life. And for a while, I felt shame. Shame because I get easily broken with some stupid moths. Shame because I am so selfish with wanting John to spend time with me instead of doing what makes him happy. Shame because I sit at home and feel like I don´t want to go live my life because of Damians disappointment. There are worse thing in life than failed exam, failure at job or some damaged clothes. Hanka must go to jail and leave her family. I left my family and put myself to the imaginary jail voluntarily, without any reason...